How would you describe yourself as a person?
An irresistible man who's elegance draws you subliminally into his orbit. Possessed of a delectable smoothness due to a low acid content. Redolent of a profusion of aromas of coffee, cherries, and sun-dried fruits. In short, a man who exudes glory, nobility, and power.
How would you describe yourself as a musician?
Homo musica. The hunter-gatherer of the species.
How do you relax, offstage?
I read books. Actual books. I love to go on long walks whilst contemplating the duality and nature of existence. Oh, and disciplining my children. That does relax me so.
Best gig and why?
Kindergarten jam-session I initiated with rhythm sticks and a bongo or two.
Worst gig and why?
Kindergarten jam-session +30 seconds when I realized I was the center of attention and that this was very, very silly.
Craziest thing that ever happened at a gig?
Recently, I was solicited by a nice lady who had a request on behalf of her "friend”. Something to the effect of the possibility of me spending a single evening with her. Without skipping a beat, I asked, "How much does that gig pay?". My wife and I had a bit of a laugh over that one.
What other member of GT irritates you and why?
I find them all irritating. A bunch of slack-jawed cretins, the lot of them.
How do you deal with critics?
I remind myself that I must be above someone if they wish to take me down. When that doesn't work I have a handy phone number to dial. When that call is answered I speak the phrase, "Kazoo! Bring the ax!". Critic dealt with.
What do you think accounts for GT's longevity?
Booze. Our fans drink a lot of Booze. A good time is had by all, memories are made, and the accompanying brain cells are destroyed. Thereby, necessitating repeat attendance to GT shows in order to find out what it was all about.
The zombie apocalypse has started. You have time to play one last show. Where and why?
I want to do it someplace like a mall. Some place where you can hole up and ride it out after the last song.